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STORY
How a good word from a former colleague can lead to a big break

You may have heard of Selma, the Oscar-nominated “vivid retelling” of the 1965 voting rights marches led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

But did you know that the film’s director, Ava DuVernay, wasn’t even the first choice? 

When Hollywood executives had signed off on Selma, they expected Oscar-nominated director Lee Daniels to take the top job.

But Daniels dropped out to pursue a different movie—leaving the film directorless.

One day, actor David Oyelowo—who was cast to play Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.—had a candidate in mind: Ava DuVernay, who had directed an indie film he starred in just one year prior.

“At the end of the day, it’s all about great practitioners who help you become a better actor,” Oyelowo reflected. “[That’s] certainly the case with myself and Ava.”

Believing that “it would be a shame for ‘Selma’ to fall apart [now],” studio executives called up DuVernay.

Fast forward one year and Selma received a nomination for Best Picture at the Academy Awards and Best Movie at the BET Awards. Critics also crowned DuVernay as “a master of small, intimate moments.”

UNSPOKEN RULE
Leave people remembering you fondly

Hollywood had hundreds of options for the director of Selma when their top choice fell through. Most of those options had far more experience than DuVernay, who had only made indie films up to that point.

And yet, she was picked over everybody else.

Why?

Because someone on the inside said, “I’ve worked with her, I like her, and I trust her. And I promise you that you will like her and trust her, too.”

“But what if I don’t know anyone on the inside?” you might be wondering. 

My answer is: You never know.

That colleague sitting down the hall from you? That client you’re working with? That random person you met at the company social?

They may not be relevant to you now, but you have no idea where life may take both of you—and whether they may end up being on the “inside” of a process you’re staring at from the outside.

So, build relationships! Here are 3 approaches to try:

1. Say “hi” to them—and keep saying “hi” to them.

As awkward as it may be to make eye contact in the hallway for the first time, once you’ve said “hi” or “good morning,” I assure you the second time will be far easier.

Your goal? To leave others thinking, “Oh yeah! I’ve seen them around. They’re nice!”

2. Work with them—and do a good job.

Working with someone is a great way to get to know—and build trust with—someone, especially if small talk isn’t your strength or your small talk isn’t going anywhere.

Your goal? To leave others thinking, “Yes, I’ve worked with them! They’re super reliable. I’d definitely work with them again.”

3. Be helpful to them.

Whether it’s by offering information, passing along a contact, or asking, “Can I be helpful at all with _______?”, show up with freebies. It’s hard to dislike the person who just gave you a gift.

Your goal? To leave others thinking, “I like them! They’re always so helpful.”

Not every person you build a relationship with will return the favor, but one will—and you have no idea what kind of favor that person may approach you with and when.

Leave people wanting to help you!

See you on Thursday for our “Ask Gorick Anything” of the week,

—Gorick

PS: If you’ve got a career question you want me to answer, fill out this form.

What’s an “unspoken rule”? They’re the things that separate those who get ahead from those who stumble—and don’t know why. You can learn more about these rules in the workplace in my Wall Street Journal bestselling book called—you guessed it—The Unspoken Rules.

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Gorick Ng
[email protected]​
Harvard career advisor | WSJ bestselling author | Fortune 500 keynote speaker | First-gen

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Sources

1. “vivid retelling”

2. “At the end of the day…”

3. “it would be a shame for ‘Selma’ to fall apart [now],”

4. Lee Daniels

5. David Oyelowo

6. Ava DuVernay

7. “a master of small, intimate moments.”